Fear

Unfortunately in the past there have been times when the fear of not being "good enough" at something has kept me from doing anything. The idea implanted in my head was that I must be perfect at what I do, lest the world and God himself turn away in disgust, indignantly questioning why I attempt to do such preposterous things.

The implanted thought took root and fed on all of my fears. Roots sunk deep into the crevices of my heart and soul, paralyzingly me. Fears of disappointing people. Fears of failure. Fears that everyone will actually begin to believe I am certifiably crazy.

Pride is so much easier to feed than humility.

I forget about grace. I forget about weaknesses being strengths and strengths being weaknesses. I forget about Moses telling God that He had chosen the wrong man. I forget about the fact it is not and has never been about me.

I don't need so much to be taught as I need to be reminded.

Reminded that most of the God uses my imperfections and failings, that He uses all of me even the brokenness...dare I say especially the brokenness.

I may say the wrong thing, I may do the wrong thing, I may stumble over words, my grammar and typos may be scattered liberally through-out everything I write. It may be horrible writing-but it can still be used. Two small copper coins were not too insignificant to go unnoticed, so maybe you and I aren't either.

Maybe redemption is really too good not to be true.

Thank you all for reminding me.