How you would feel walking up to the treasury with two small copper coins grasped tightly in your sweaty palm. Would you feel invisible? Would you wonder what the point is, why you even bothered to come? As men with rings on every finger pass by you with bags so full of coins they are ripping at the seams, do you hope that the floor opens up so you can drop down into a hole.
People must think you are crazy, they must be wondering what you are doing here. You begin to replay the voices of your family who told you that they think what you plan to do is asinine. They remind you that you are a widow: poor, alone, and what you give will not make a difference here-for you will never make a difference. And suddenly in a flash of indecision you believe them.
Words are fired into the holes of your heart. Destitute. Forgotten. Abandoned. Broken.
A wave of despair threatens to overwhelm you, pull you under, and the bravery you felt when you first made the decision has all but seeped from you into the stone floors that you find yourself standing on. You desperately wish you could turn around, go home, and forget this foolhardy errand. But somehow your feet find their way all the way to the front of the treasury and with a burst of courage, your hand opens and you toss the two warm, small, copper coins into the pile.
You turn quickly to leave and you see sitting across the room, a Rabbi. He is looking at you, no, not just looking but seeing you. And for the first time in years you don't feel invisible, but seen. He does not look tame, but His eyes are kind, He smiles at you and you feel love seep deep into your soul. He calls and a dozen men scurry over and lean in closely to hear Him. You see Him point at you and smile. And at that moment-it is enough.
I am not the most talented person in the world. I am not the smartest. I am not the most gifted. I am not the best writer, I am not the best weaver of words. I don't have a huge sphere of influence.
And I don't have bags that are threatening to burst because they are so full of coins.
But I do have two coins, one life, and a handful of words.
May I have the courage to toss them into the treasury, may I be brave enough to open my hand and let them drop. And may I more than anything else in the world desire that smile.