Thursday, December 19, 2013

Here is my head, ready? It's a scary, ridiculous place-prepare yourself.

When I decide to do something, I get excited, because plans like this are my favorite. I tend to go a *tad* overboard because I get so caught up in making plans.

Then I carry out my plans and just before I actually hand things away to people is where my head starts running away with me.

What if people think I am doing this for attention and hate me?
What if people think that I am ridiculous and make fun of me?
What if I mess up and everyone laughs at me?
What if people misunderstand what I do?
What if I pour my heart out and then everyone only rolls their eyes?
What if.
What if.
What if.

I've held back so much in life because of those stupid fears.

I literally sat outside of an office today thinking I should go throw everything I'd made into the lake, because doing nothing always seems safer than throwing yourself out there and giving pieces of yourself away.

Rejection hurts less if you put on a mask and pretend to me someone you're not.

It's an act of bravery to throw yourself out there, to wipe of the thick layer of paint you've been hiding behind and just dance and revel in who you were created to be. There will be naysayers who whisper as you spin, they will try to fasten those shackles around your ankles - don't let them, run fast and far away, beckoning them to drop those chains and run with you.

Don't listen to the lies that fear will whisper, laugh and say, "Alright then what?"

Alright, if people think I do this for attention-then what?

They misunderstand me, label me, roll their eyes at me, talk behind my back, laugh at me? Then. what. Torture me? Maim me? Kill me? That's all you've got?

Alright, well let me tell you what people can't do.

They cannot strip away the joy and laughter I have in my lungs. They cannot steal the love that I carry and the songs that live on my lips. They cannot destroy all of life and love I've already lived.

Cast your roots into something that is unshakable and you'll find that you can't be shaken.

Alright then. I'm going into that freaking office, I'm going to love those freaking people, I am going to make things and give away more than people think is a good idea, I'm going to write a long freaking facebook status, I'm going to take pictures of the beauty I find, and I'm not going to worry about what you think. I am not going to let fear dictate what I do and say any longer.


Because gosh darn it - I am free.

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